I mentioned a few weeks ago my intention to discuss the issue of birth trauma. This one’s a very sensitive topic for me, so I won’t go into too many details as it can be quite physically and emotionally triggering. I’ll also add a trigger warning to some of you reading this, as you may have also experienced a similar trauma, which has led to the onset of your fibro symptoms or maybe made them worse. You might also be a friend or family member reading this, with no history of chronic illness, but have had a particularly difficult time during labour or the recovery afterwards. Whatever your situation, go slow and take a break if you need to.
I was motivated to write this post after listening to an interview on my Happy Families Podcast with Dr Justin Coulson. (As an aside, I reached out to my friends for suggestions for podcast shows and got an overwhelming amount of suggestions. I have branched out to other shows, including Just the Gist with Rosie Waterland, but I keep coming back to Happy Families. It’s my happy place-I come away feeling more confident and able to tackle the challenges of raising a very bright and sassy six-year-old. Still working on the execution of these strategies though! Hahahahaha). Anyway, this day he was speaking to Sharon Stoliar, author of a new book called Scars of Gold, about the topic of birth trauma. (If you want to find out more info about her go to her website – https://www.sharonstoliar.com ). It was amazing the amount of parallels between her story and mine but it was also quite triggering for me. I started to react physiologically to the content, breathing more heavily and quickly and becoming quite anxious. However, as I am working more on my avoidance behaviours when managing stress, I forced myself to listen to the podcast. And to listen to it again. And on the second run-through, I noticed a marked lessening in my stress response. I could better pay attention to the subject content. So, I was pretty proud of myself for being able to overcome that.
As I’ve previously mentioned, the onset of my fibro symptoms started about a week after the birth of Miss Six, when I started being weaned down off the opioids that were prescribed after the birth. Within weeks (though the timeline is blurry due to the distress and pain I was in), it had started to move from my abdomen to other parts of my body. However, I felt that the pain was not given the attention it deserved, and as kind as the medical staff attending to me were, their attentions were misplaced-instead focusing on encouraging me on how well I was going as a Mum and that the pain would pass. However, the pain only intensified and the bond and interactions between myself and the baby was never for me the issue. The issue was this horrible, overwhelming pain. Later, I found out that I had been diagnosed with post-natal depression, a label I felt to be totally inappropriate, as the pain had not yet been addressed, before this diagnosis was given. The point being, I felt unheard and inadequately supported after the birth, despite being very clear about the pain I was experiencing. Sharon Stoliar, describes a similar experience in episode #594 of the Happy Families Podcast-of experiencing unusual pain after the birth and having ongoing, chronic symptoms as a result. It was a moment of solidarity-hearing her story and realising that if she is a qualified midwife going through birth, feeling unheard or lacking in voice, then imagine the challenges that ordinary laypeople like me experience when trying to be heard by some in the health professions.
So, why bring up this idea of birth trauma? Most of you would know by now, that the origins of fibromyalgia are still yet unclear. Until recently, there has been no imaging or blood tests that can be undertaken to diagnose it, so it falls to medical professionals to diagnose with a list of symptoms instead. (A while ago, I had heard whispers of a blood test on the horizon that is being developed to act as a diagnostic screening tool. On a quick search today, it looks like it is available in some countries, but I know very little about it. Feel free to do your own research-search FM/a test.) What is widely believed, is that fibro is brought upon by an event, often a trauma, whether physical, psychological, emotional, sexual or any combination of these. I used to tell expectant mothers if they asked about my birth experience that my experience was unusual. And it is largely, within my circle of friends, family and acquaintances. But I have heard from other fibro friends and fibro forums, stories about the onset or intensifying of symptoms after birth, making me think that maybe it is not so unusual after all. Yes, birth is and can be a trauma physically in and of itself. But, as Sharon Stoliar pointed out in this podcast, it is often whether the individual felt adequately supported, as to whether it progresses to an instance of birth trauma as the more specific concept she is referring to.
I have read so many stories about people with fibro feeling judged, pigeonholed or unheard by the health professionals around them. I have been mostly very lucky with the team I have surrounded myself with and consider several of them to be almost like friends. (One I also see as a mentor and look forward to seeing her each fortnight). Most people, I would like to believe, don’t go in with the intention of doing the wrong thing by their patient, but some fail to really listen to what their patient is saying and as a result, labels are prematurely applied. Suggestions for care don’t always help to alleviate the trauma and struggle and symptoms that person is feeling and from what I’ve read or heard, can actually make the person’s experience worse. So, what can I suggest practically here? If you have the option, spend time surrounding yourself with health professionals that care and listen to your role as one of the experts in your own care. I have two physiotherapists, a massage therapist and a GP who I adore and do just this. And it makes such a difference.
Thanks for reading. Try and indulge in some self-care and take care of yourselves. Feel free to comment if any of this resonated (or if you have more info on that FM/a test!)
Catch you on the next post.
xx Jen – The Girl on Fire.
Hi! I’m Jen the Girl on Fire. Diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2016, I started this blog as a way to raise awareness about fibro, share helpful tips and tricks and to allow others around me a space to contribute and share their own experiences with this condition. I am a mum, a wife, a singing and dancing enthusiast and fibro blogger, working hard to achieve new dreams despite a chronic condition.